On Being an Older Brother of a Pro-Life Sister

***Guest post by Brian Stoyell-Mulholland***

I thought I was pro-life, because I voted for pro-life politicians.  I thought I was pro-life because I agreed with their views on life.  I thought I was pro-life.  My little sister made me realize how little I was doing.  She is an advocate for women and the pro-life movement, and I could not be more proud of her.  She was interning in high school for a pro-life center in Philly, she has interned at a crisis pregnancy center in Florida, she is a voice for the unborn and women on her college campus, and recently was in Texas supporting the bill that was recently passed.  I wonder to myself, "what am I doing?  How can I actually be pro-life?"

I reflect on my sister’s time in Texas.  While the bill was being passed in Texas, my sister and other pro-life young adults were taken to a safe room, because those who are pro-abortion were rioting and threatening.  My sister told me stories about people demeaning her and screaming vulgarities at her.  As an older brother, this frightened me.  As a citizen, I was angry with how little the media reported this.  If pro-lifers were being so violent, the media would have been all over it.  My sister texted my family when she was taken to the safe room.  Many thoughts were going through my head.  How dare someone put my sister in such a dangerous situation?  If my sister had gotten hurt, I do not know how I would have reacted.  This is my sister, we are talking about.  My little sister; she has been with me her entire life.  I protect her and defend her.  That is my calling as an older brother.  For those of you who are older brothers, I am sure you understand this feeling.  One of my best friends is being attacked and there is nothing I can do about it.  My sister may be in pain or in fear.  I must do something.

This experience firmly answered my question for how can I be pro-life.  I will never be my sister.  I will never be a leader in the pro-life movement like her.  What I can do and what all men can do is be a support for those who are in this fight.  I can be by my sister helping her with whatever she needs.  I can be someone to hug when others insult her.  I can be a physical barrier if others seek to harm her.  I can pray for her.  And this is not for just my sister, but all women in my life.  I recently read an article about being “Bro-Choice,” which, quick summary, was about men should be pro-choice so they can continue to objectify women and use them as sex objects.  I was horrified by the author’s view of a relationship.  We should be treating women with respect and dignity.  I know if any guy dates my sister and does not treat her as well as she deserves, then I am in pain.  My realization is that the pro-choice culture takes power away from women.  Pro-choice beliefs degrade women.  I do not want my sister living in a culture where a man thinks that her sole purpose is to please him.  A culture where he thinks he can heap deeply emotional and permanent decisions on her and then leave with her with no consequences for himself.  I can support women, by realizing my role in creating life.  If a woman does get pregnant, yes, it is her body, but the child is also your child.  Your child’s mother needs your support.  Creating life takes two people, but so does nurturing life.

As much as the pro-life movement is focused on women, I find men are intimately connected to the pro-life movement.  Above, I spoke about how being pro-choice is degrading to woman, but in the same capacity, being pro-choice is degrading to men.  Yes, men do not have to go through a pregnancy in the biological sense, but they do go through pregnancy in a spiritual and emotional way.  The “pro-choice” movement takes away my choice as a man to choose to have a child.  A man is necessary for a woman to carry a child.  Why do I not get a choice in the care of my child?  “Pro-choice” culture says to men you are here to supply the sperm and nothing else.  How degrading?  A dear friend of mine, his girlfriend had an abortion, and the girlfriend did not even tell him that she did this until post-abortion.   My friend still struggles with the fact that his child was killed.  He prays for his unborn child and carries the child in his heart to this day.  He knew his role in the creation of life and his role as a father was taken from him.  He did not have a choice.  A culture where men can casually dismiss an abortion is offensive to the dignity of fatherhood.  This is just another reason, men; you need to be adamantly pro-life.

My sister is pro-life and I am trying to be every day.  I will do the best I can to support her and the other women I can in my life.  I will uphold their dignity as well as my own.  Men, you have a call to action.  Be a support.  Be a father.  Don’t let society tell you that you are unimportant.  Do not let your sister, daughter, wife, or friend be in this fight alone.  Men have a responsibility to stand up.  As Edmund Burke said, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”