Why the Hobby Lobby Decision is Good for Women (Part 1)

If you were down at the Supreme Court yesterday awaiting the Hobby Lobby decision, you might have noticed something interesting. The overwhelming majority of Hobby Lobby supporters were women.

Huh.

I thought Hobby Lobby was trying to oppress women.

They were trying to ban birth control.

They were trying to bring us back to the 1950s.

They were enforcing a patriarchal society where men make all the decisions about women’s reproductive choices.

Oh, there's me, looking very oppressed by the decision

But, then, why were most of the Hobby Lobby supporters women? I mean, even the mainstream media had to use pictures of women celebrating the decision when it came out. 

However, if you wandered over the pro-choice side, you saw something interesting. At least half of the supporters were men. The person leading their chants was a man. At one point, before he started to lead a chant, he leaned over to the women in front of him and said “do you want to be referred to as women or girls?” I had more than one pro-choice man get two inches from my face and scream about access to birth control.

But please, do tell us how Hobby Lobby is trying to oppress women.

Oh look, the all-female legal team! 

Despite what the media, or Planned Parenthood may lead you to believe, this decision was a good decision for women.  Despite one’s personal beliefs on contraception, our First Amendment guarantees the right to exercise our religious beliefs. To claim that women care more about their employer paying for their birth control than our own religious freedom is demeaning to all women. Over a third of the plaintiffs who have filed suit against the HHS mandate are women. The mandate hurts women business owners who were being forced to choose between their religious convictions and their own business. Thankfully, the Supreme Court recognized that this was an unfair burden to place on business owners.

It is also problematic to refer the HHS mandate as a huge advancement for women’s equality, as supporters of the mandate often do. The subtext is that if a woman wants to be successful or equal in the workforce, she must suppress her fertility, which is viewed as a hindrance to her goals and her fulfillment. Women are sent the message –  that there is something wrong with their bodies that needs correcting if they are to be equal. To be equal to men, they must become like men.

This view is demeaning to women. We are being told that if we even want to have the opportunity to achieve equality, we should be contracepting. We are told that if we do become pregnant, whether planned or unplanned, somehow we are unsuccessful, in effect we have failed.  If we choose to pursue motherhood, we are clearly not pursuing success – at least not as the government defines it.

If the government truly saw the choices for and against motherhood as equal, there would be more support for women who become pregnant. Contraception and abortion-inducing drugs and devices are offered for free through the HHS mandate, but not all pregnancy-related costs are covered. By only offering full coverage of options promoting the prevention or interruption of pregnancy, the government is sending a subtle but clear message about what it means to be a woman and what a woman's success looks like – and it doesn’t include her fertility.

So who declared the real war on women?

Stay tuned for the next blog post, where we will discuss what true women's healthcare should look like.

On Being an Older Brother of a Pro-Life Sister

***Guest post by Brian Stoyell-Mulholland***

I thought I was pro-life, because I voted for pro-life politicians.  I thought I was pro-life because I agreed with their views on life.  I thought I was pro-life.  My little sister made me realize how little I was doing.  She is an advocate for women and the pro-life movement, and I could not be more proud of her.  She was interning in high school for a pro-life center in Philly, she has interned at a crisis pregnancy center in Florida, she is a voice for the unborn and women on her college campus, and recently was in Texas supporting the bill that was recently passed.  I wonder to myself, "what am I doing?  How can I actually be pro-life?"

I reflect on my sister’s time in Texas.  While the bill was being passed in Texas, my sister and other pro-life young adults were taken to a safe room, because those who are pro-abortion were rioting and threatening.  My sister told me stories about people demeaning her and screaming vulgarities at her.  As an older brother, this frightened me.  As a citizen, I was angry with how little the media reported this.  If pro-lifers were being so violent, the media would have been all over it.  My sister texted my family when she was taken to the safe room.  Many thoughts were going through my head.  How dare someone put my sister in such a dangerous situation?  If my sister had gotten hurt, I do not know how I would have reacted.  This is my sister, we are talking about.  My little sister; she has been with me her entire life.  I protect her and defend her.  That is my calling as an older brother.  For those of you who are older brothers, I am sure you understand this feeling.  One of my best friends is being attacked and there is nothing I can do about it.  My sister may be in pain or in fear.  I must do something.

This experience firmly answered my question for how can I be pro-life.  I will never be my sister.  I will never be a leader in the pro-life movement like her.  What I can do and what all men can do is be a support for those who are in this fight.  I can be by my sister helping her with whatever she needs.  I can be someone to hug when others insult her.  I can be a physical barrier if others seek to harm her.  I can pray for her.  And this is not for just my sister, but all women in my life.  I recently read an article about being “Bro-Choice,” which, quick summary, was about men should be pro-choice so they can continue to objectify women and use them as sex objects.  I was horrified by the author’s view of a relationship.  We should be treating women with respect and dignity.  I know if any guy dates my sister and does not treat her as well as she deserves, then I am in pain.  My realization is that the pro-choice culture takes power away from women.  Pro-choice beliefs degrade women.  I do not want my sister living in a culture where a man thinks that her sole purpose is to please him.  A culture where he thinks he can heap deeply emotional and permanent decisions on her and then leave with her with no consequences for himself.  I can support women, by realizing my role in creating life.  If a woman does get pregnant, yes, it is her body, but the child is also your child.  Your child’s mother needs your support.  Creating life takes two people, but so does nurturing life.

As much as the pro-life movement is focused on women, I find men are intimately connected to the pro-life movement.  Above, I spoke about how being pro-choice is degrading to woman, but in the same capacity, being pro-choice is degrading to men.  Yes, men do not have to go through a pregnancy in the biological sense, but they do go through pregnancy in a spiritual and emotional way.  The “pro-choice” movement takes away my choice as a man to choose to have a child.  A man is necessary for a woman to carry a child.  Why do I not get a choice in the care of my child?  “Pro-choice” culture says to men you are here to supply the sperm and nothing else.  How degrading?  A dear friend of mine, his girlfriend had an abortion, and the girlfriend did not even tell him that she did this until post-abortion.   My friend still struggles with the fact that his child was killed.  He prays for his unborn child and carries the child in his heart to this day.  He knew his role in the creation of life and his role as a father was taken from him.  He did not have a choice.  A culture where men can casually dismiss an abortion is offensive to the dignity of fatherhood.  This is just another reason, men; you need to be adamantly pro-life.

My sister is pro-life and I am trying to be every day.  I will do the best I can to support her and the other women I can in my life.  I will uphold their dignity as well as my own.  Men, you have a call to action.  Be a support.  Be a father.  Don’t let society tell you that you are unimportant.  Do not let your sister, daughter, wife, or friend be in this fight alone.  Men have a responsibility to stand up.  As Edmund Burke said, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”

5 (Pro-Life) Ways to Support Women Right Now

1. Research your school's student health plan and see what it covers (or doesn't cover).

Girls who become pregnant in college don't have a real choice to carry their pregnancies to term if their schools don't facilitate their needs during pregnancy. For example, Yale University's student health plan covers abortions, but their basic student health plan offers NO coverage for students who would like to parent or place their child for adoption. Contrastingly, Notre Dame ensures that women who become pregnant as students will receive the full support of the university community, including housing, tuition assistance, and more.

If your school does not provide adequate support for pregnant women, contact student services and advocate that a change be made. Preventing discrimination against pregnant students is an important way we can support and empower women. This is a main initiative of Feminists for Life. Students for Life of America also has a "Pregnant on Campus" Initiative.

2. Instead of buying a frappuccino, support a mom in need by buying baby wipes to donate to a pregnancy center.

Many women who choose life for their babies still need support in providing for them.  If you're willing to spend a few dollars on coffee, next time spend that $4 on something new moms really need. Diapers for newborns are always in high demand. You can locate your local pregnancy center and donate directly, or check your local parish and see if they have a donation bin at the church. Supplying resources is a significant and immediate way to support women.

 3. Learn about the symptoms  of post-abortion syndrome so you can be an ally for women around you that may be suffering.

As many as 1 in 3 women have had an abortion, so we all need to be prepared to support the women around us who may be suffering from that decision, no matter how long ago it was made.

Places to start:

Silent No More

Rachel's Vineyard

After Abortion - The Elliot Institute

Post Abortion Healing and Treatment [PATH]

Remember to always discuss the issues with compassion; you never know who may decide to approach you about their past experience. Also research post-abortive help in your community, so that you have referral information ready should a woman share her story with you. Many dioceses and Crisis Pregnancy Centers offer post-abortive counseling and retreats. Providing opportunities for healing is an essential way to support women in a culture of life.

4. Post contact information for your local Crisis Pregnancy Center on the "local businesses" billboard in a nearby coffee shop or grocery store.

You never know where someone may stumble across that information when they need it. Promoting the your local Pregnancy Center could also increase their volunteer base and donations. Consider contacting them directly and asking if they have pre-made fliers that you could post. Advertising the availability of assistance is crucial for supporting women in crisis pregnancies.

Find your local pregnancy center at www.optionline.org

5. Pray for women in situations and relationships that put them at risk for undesired pregnancy.

As many as 64% ofwomen get abortions because they feel pressured by others. Many have become pregnant by a man who will not support the child or does not want to child to be born.

Even if the woman may want to carry the child to term, she may be living an unhealthy lifestyle herself, and not want to bring a child into that situation. Women deserve better relationships and better lifestyles, for their children but also for themselves. Pray specifically for these women - that they will receive the support they need to pursue safe and healthy relationships and lifestyles. Women need our support not only financially and emotionally, but also through the power of prayer.

Pro-life is pro-woman. :)

MY body, MY choice.

MY body, MY choice.

Recently, a video has been circulating the Internet of a group of feminists proclaiming “MY body, MY choice.” When a friend of mine posted this to her Facebook, I clicked to listen to the entirety of it and came away feeling sad and dejected. The idea had so much potential, but the direction they took it in, just undermined the entire idea of the project. I could see glimmers of what they truly yearned for in the video, but they instead turned to what society told them it meant to be women as opposed to standing for what it means to truly be a woman.

I have pulled some quotes of what they say throughout this short video to highlight my points.

“I decide when and how I become a mother.”

Absolutely, women can decide when and how they become mothers. But this becomes a possibility every time a woman decides to have sex. By making this decision, a woman could become a mother. Women control when they have sex therefore they can control when they become mothers.

“These decisions have nothing to do with you.”

This statement is just blatantly wrong. All of our actions affect other people, whether we realize it or not. In the case of abortion, that decision can deeply affect the father of the child, the grandparents, the other future children, and most importantly the woman involved. This decision affects your neighbors, your classmates, your doctors. Society, as a whole, is deeply affected by the tragedy of abortion. Every single life is valuable and adds something to society. So every single abortion has affected the outcome of society. Who knows what those children who were aborted might have offered to society?

“I have the right to be screened for this killer of women./ Whether I go to my doctor or I rely on the services of clinics like those run by Planned Parenthood. And your desire to stop the fundings of abortions has nothing to do with my right to defend myself against cancer.”

Breast cancer screenings are very important and it is important to get mammograms. However, Planned Parenthood does not provide mammograms. All they can do to screen you for breast cancer is a breast exam, the same that you could and should be doing in your own home. Also Planned Parenthood’s main client base is young adults and it is not necessary to start getting mammograms until the age of 40. 

(http://www.thenewamerican.com/usnews/politics/item/13271-fda-contradicts-obama-planned-parenthood-not-licensed-to-do-mammograms)

“If I choose to have sex, I have the right to birth control.”

Birth control has never been a right. It’s not in the Constitution; it’s not a part of natural law. So where does this ‘right’ stem from? This notion has developed that people are entitled to the right to have sex without any consequences. Sex has been separated from its procreative purpose. If you choose to have sex, you choose to put yourself in the situation where you can get preganant, whether or not you are on birth control.

“I have the right to an abortion without facing intimidation, harassment, burdensome parental consent laws, or prejudicial taxes. If I decide to have an abortion, I will not undergo unnecessary invasive medical procedures for the purposes of your moralizing and personal edification.”

This statement is just ironic because many women who have abortions do it because of intimidation and harassment. The number of coerced abortions in this country is unbelievably high. Women’s boyfriends or husbands are threatening to leave them if they do not get an abortion. Some are physically abused into getting an abortion, some are emotionally abused. Calling parental consent laws ‘burdensome’ is ridiculous. Young women under the age of 18 years old are not allowed to pierce their ears without getting consent from their parents. If young women are not even able to legally make the decision to pierce their ears, a decision that can easily be reversed, why should they be able to undergo an invasive medical procedure that can have both medical and emotional side effects without the consent of their parents?  

“I am entitled to all health information from my doctor. And allowing myself to be penetrated once does not assume your right to do it again for your own purposes and your own reasons.”

Women are entitled to all health information from their doctor. Unfortunately abortion clinics are not providing all of this information. They gloss over the side effects of abortions, saying that they merely are required to provide this information by law. The emotional side effects that many women experience are never spoken of. The ultrasound bills that this woman is objecting to are an effort to provide women with all of the information necessary to make such a medical decision.

Then the women in this video went on to make some absolutely correct statements. These women know that they deserve to be respected, valued, and honored. They yearn for this. It is completely evident throughout this video. 

“I am not defined by my need of a man or a partner. Though I have the right to be made happy by one in a safe and supportive relationship”

“I am not here to be your sexual toy.”

 “I’m not defined by my hair, my weight, my eye color, my makeup, my bra size, my skin color.”

“I’m beautiful despite what you think. With or without your approval.”

“I have the right…to equal pay; to health care; to education; to divorce; to safety; to protection under the law; to respect and dignity; to complete equality.”

“Do not be afraid of a world in which women know themselves, their voice, and their power. That world has arrived.”

Unfortunately this world has not arrived. Women, such as the women in this video, have been duped by the world and society. They have become convinced that equality is the same as complete sexual freedom. This is because of the double standard that is so present in our society. They define being a woman as having access to birth control and abortion. When did the definition of a woman become so tied up in her sexuality? Women are so much more than their sexual desires. This is, and always will, a crucial part of what it means to be a woman. But it is not the whole picture.

So what does it mean when these women say “MY body. MY choice.”?

Men agree. They say. Your body. Your choice. Your problem.

When men are not supportive of women when they get pregnant, this is because of this mentality that has developed. They have been consistently told that it’s the woman’s body, therefore it’s the woman’s choice. This means that it must her problem. He is not allowed to have any input, so why are we surprised when so many men abandon their children?

 (As a side note, this video was co-created by a man. Interesting.)

Woman's Great Disease

THE WORST THING THAT COULD EVER HAPPEN TO A WOMAN.

THE ONE THING TO BE AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS.

THE DISEASE THAT WILL DESTROY YOUR LIFE FOREVER.

PREGNANCY.

What does this attitude say?

Not pregnant? You are a champion. A free woman. Victorious! Successful! Happy, joyful and freeeeeeeee!

Which means if you are pregnant… oh. Well then, uhmmmm…. Don't worry. It'll be ok. You'll make it through. Somehow. You have options. We can fix this. We can fix you.

But what if...

Disease : "a condition of the living animal or plant body… that impairs normal functioning and is typically manifested by distinguishing signs and symptoms; a harmful development." - Merriam-Webster

The Problem

Women can get pregnant. Men, cannot. So pregnancy is distinctive to women; it is a unique ability of their bodies, many would even say it is a unique gift.

The modern attitude, though, is that pregnancy is something more like a disease. It is a harmful and unfortunate circumstance that needs to be prevented, or if contracted - cured. Healthy bodies are free of disease. So to be healthy, women need to be free of this disease - free, in a sense, of their own bodies.

But there's something pretty degrading about telling women that there's something so wrong with their bodies, something so wrong with them.

Pregnancy is a huge deal. But it doesn't "impair" normal functioning of a woman's body. Having children is, in fact, VERY normal to a woman's body - it's what it is designed to do! So sending the message that pregnancy is a horrible, loathsome thing also sends the message that a woman's body is kind of loathsome, itself. And we all know that society/the media give women enough reasons already to dislike their bodies - we don't need more lies.

What women need is…

Support: in pregnancy - emotionally, physically, financially, etc. Nineteenth century suffragist Victoria Woodhull wrote that ideally, when a woman is pregnant, “it will be immediately held that she is laboring for society…she will become the especial care of society and, while she is performing this sacred duty, be paid the highest wages received by any class, and be treated accordingly during the entire [pregnancy].” Just imagine a world where that was the case!

Celebration: of the ridiculously awesome power women have to give life to entirely new unique human beings, that will exist for eternity!

Acceptance: of the way women's bodies work. When women have sex, they can get pregnant, and this incredible power should be respected with the reverence it deserves. [#casualaintcool] Women deserve the security of knowing the father will be around when she gets pregnant, which means waiting til marriage = pretty empowering, because it's about prioritizing the way woman is made.

Fertility is not a flaw.

Kid President: For Pregnant Women

This video has been sweeping the nation.  

 

"Send this video to someone who needs encouragement."

Kid president got me thinking. You know who could use some encouragement? Women. Facing possibly the scariest situation of their lives. Possibly with limited finances, resources, and support. Who gives women in crisis pregnancies a pep talk? Us.

I recently heard someone say that "our side is the side of optimism," and I agree. Why? Because the Pro-Life message is one of encouragement. It tells women: you can do this. We will help you. It tells them they are strong enough, capable enough, worthy enough of love, support, and a held hand down a road that, no matter which path, is going to be tough.

Kid President said it: "Life is not a game, people." And we know that. Life is infinitely precious, an indescribable gift, a beautiful unique creation.

"And if life is a game, aren't we all on the same team?... But if we're on the same team, let's start acting like it."

Women considering abortion are not the enemy. They are not our opponents, vying for the right to the unborn child. They are our sisters, and they need us. They need our encouragement; they deserve our encouragement, because they face a situation more difficult than many of us can imagine.

"Don't stop believing…keep going, keep going, keep going."

For women faced with an unexpected pregnancy, life as they planned it is no more. They may not believe they can make  it with a child, given their circumstances. They may not believe there is anyone to help them. They may not know if they are strong enough to carry a child and even then, whether or not to choose adoption for their child. They need encouragement. To keep going, keep believing in themselves and their dreams, in the ability to overcome what is difficult and make even more beautiful their life ahead.

"What if Michael Jordan had quit? What if he had never made Space Jam?

 From Beethoven to Justin Bieber, so many incredible people were born after their mothers were told to have an abortion. Who knows how many of our dear friends and classmates were once in danger of being aborted? Each and every child brought into this world brings something amazing, unique, and beautiful. And all mothers deserve the encouragement of knowing that about their child.

 "This is your time!"

Our sisters in crisis need encouragement. It's our job to give it to them.

"The world needs you."

 

#Prowomanprolife

 

Need a place to start? Click here.

Love Speaks Louder

 Consider the difference:

“Whom you would change, you must first love. And they must know that you love them.”

- Martin Luther King Jr.

Event Idea: Write from the Heart

My cousin recently became pregnant, and our family showered her and her husband with  excitement and the usual "Congratulations!" We all shared in their joy in creating new life, a life full of possibilities, growth,  and love.

Women in crisis pregnancies deserve the same joy, the same "Congratulations!"  Pro-choice arguments have promoted the idea that certain lives, especially those conceived in crisis situations, are somehow less-than-valuable, less than wanted, less than worthy of celebration.  But the pro-life stance recognizes the indescribable value of each and every life, regardless of the situation into which they are born. This does not mean we don't recognize the hardship and sacrifice many face in becoming pregnant, and it is crucial not to neglect those realities. But it is also crucial not to neglect the reality of joyful celebration - celebration of new life! An entirely new, unique, human being has been created for love. 

The Event

The pro-life movement has a responsibility to remind people that new life is worth celebrating. And what better way than with cards of congratulations?? This event is cheap, easy to organize and set up, and can have a lasting impression on the community.

Pre-Planning

• Contact your local care center for women in crisis pregnancies and tell them about your event. Ask if they would be interested in having these cards made for their women
• Ask if they have any special requests or recommendations for the cards (like what to say, what not to say, etc)
• Confirm when you will drop off the cards at the care center after the event

The Event

• Set up tables for a few hours in a location where people can stop by and make a card easily
• Consider having a poster board or pamphlets about the care center at your table or off to the side
• Lay out markers, colored paper, etc
• Make a few example cards to give people ideas
• Put " To Write" and "Do Not Write" instructions out on the tables, using the suggestions from the care center if possible

 

Other Suggestions

• Make posters with encouraging messages like "Support Women," "Cards for Baby Boys/Girls," "Card Writing for Pregnant Women"
• If in a room, prop the door open and be inviting!
• Consider having music, candy, etc - anything to draw people in
• Hand out freebies from your own organization
• Consider having the pamphlets or other information off to the side so people may be more likely to look at or take them
• Collect donations for the care center you are supporting
• Hold this event during a week of Respect Life Week events, and hand out your schedule of other events going on that week
• Have sign-ups available for people who would like to join your group
• The week before, write a letter for your parish bulletin or school paper explaining the event and encouraging people to join you

Happy Card-Writing!

:)